MRI check up + a vacation

Dylan had an MRI scheduled this month. We always have them on Monday mornings--like 6:30 in the morning. He has to fast for so many hours before and so it's just easier to go in first thing. Since he had his appointment on a Monday AND it's summer, we decided to make a mini vacation out of the whole thing.

We left the Thursday before and stayed at my parents house in Annabella. We got up Friday and headed to Salt Lake to let the fun really begin. We got to stay in a hotel. This was also the night I ditched the crew and went to dinner with my college roomies. Don't worry, I brought Paul back a slice of Oreo Cheesecake! I seriously had so much fun just laughing and catching up with my girls.

Saturday we got up early and headed up to Lagoon. Paul and I haven't been since Connor was a tiny baby. We were super excited to take the kids. As we pulled up I pointed out the big white roller coaster and explained to the boys that Phineas and Ferb ride a roller coaster like that on the cartoon. That was all it took for Connor to be convinced that he should ride it. That was the very first ride he went on at Lagoon (a proud mom moment for me!) There was no line, and I let him pick which ever seat he wanted. He picked the middle of the train and before he knew it the bar came down and we were off. He was all smiles until we started the big climb. It was then that I had to do some serious convincing that it was more fun than scary. When the ride ended Connor could not get out of his seat fast enough--and he was white as a ghost! He says it was scary and a little fun! I was so happy he went on it with me. I love roller coasters! Connor was pretty brave, Dylan was pretty scared, and Samantha was pretty excited to just be there. Paul took the boys on the Tidal Wave and they both absolutely hated it--like, Dylan was crying when they got off! Connor's favorite rides included Red Rock Rally, the water tubes, log ride, sky ride, and the Lady Bug Bop. Dylan's favorite rides included Red Rock Rally, sky ride, and the bumper cars. Samantha loved the little boats, riding the helicopter with Connor, driving with Dylan, and Puff the Dragon roller coaster. She was way more brave than Dylan.

Funniest ride was the Log Ride. I took Connor and Dylan while Paul sat with Sam.  I just told them the basics-- there's a log that has been cut out with seats in it and you ride in the water like the little boat ride in the kiddie area. Easy as that. Dylan decided he was going to be in the front, Connor sat in the middle and I took up the rear. All was well until we started going up the hill. Dylan turned around and asked what he should do because he was scared. I
told him to duck his head and hold on tight--and then down the hill we went! It was completely awesome. We got out and the first words out of Dylan's mouth were "I'm so mad at you!" I just gave him a big hug and told him that I was so proud of him.

After our fun day at Lagoon we headed up to Logan to stay the night with Paul's brother and his family. It was so fun to drive around Utah State Campus, our old apartments, and Logan in general. We miss that place like crazy but we aren't sure we could ever handle the cold again! Mark and Sheila were so good to us.

Sunday afternoon we headed to South Jordan to have dinner with my cousins and Aunt. We love to stay at Cindy and Rondo's house. It was so fun to catch up with cousins that I haven't seen in a long time. My grandpa was admitted to the hospital that day and so I got to spend a few minutes with him. He is 92 and hasn't been doing so well. It was so nice to be able to see him and hug him and tell him just how much I love him and have missed having him in St. George.

Monday morning Paul got up really early with Dylan and headed up to Primary Children's for Dylan's MRI. Everything went really well and they returned quickly back to my cousins house. Later that afternoon I took Dylan back up to meet with his oncologist, Dr. Bruggars. Dylan was talkative and very cooperative--usually he is still so dazed from the sedation that he won't talk to anybody. This time he was a little more awake and lot more friendly! Dr. Bruggars said everything still looks great--no growth, movement, shifts, or changes. The best news is that Dylan is now on the yearly schedule for his MRI's. I was not expecting her to tell me this but was so excited. She reminded me again that Dylan is a miracle and to keep living and enjoying life and that is exactly what we plan to do!

 After the MRI we headed back to my parents house and I stayed with the kids for the rest of the week and Paul had to come home so he could go to work. My kids loved being at my mom's house. They got to hang with cousins (Ericka's kids), go to the bowling alley for lunch and games, sleep over at Ericka's, see my brother Chad's new house that he is renting, check out Chad's new monster truck, and play, play, play. I spent a day sewing a blanket for Samantha! I bought the material a few years ago and have not done anything with it so while I was up there my mom helped me get it put together. I love how it turned out and so does Sam!

Thanks mom for basically forcing me to get this thing done! Can't wait to make another one!

finished

it's been 3 years.
i have no words.
my heart is so full.
he is a miracle boy.

                                  April 2013                                            May 2010

A Dilly-Dawg Check up

In an attempt to "catch-up" on the blog, I am going to have to back a few months...so here goes:

On the day before Thanksgiving Dylan, Paul, and myself were up at Primary Children's for Dylan's 6 month scan. He was so brave. He asked lots of questions; wanted to know how big the tumor was, if we were going to eat at the cafeteria, and would we be there when he "waked up." We arrived bright and early, for our 7:00 sedation. We were right on schedule! As usual, the loving nurses put the iv in Dylan's foot, as per his request. He's not ready to try to "give his hand a drink" yet. His feet have worked for several years and so that is what we go with. After the poke, sleepy medicine, and 45 minute scan he was done. He woke up, as usual, just as happy as could be. He had his popsicle, oreos, apple juice, and requested wagon ride up to the 4th floor.(only this time there were NO wagons to be found, so we strapped him into a fancy red wheelchair). Dylan was super tired so he snoozed for a bit, read some books with Dad, and snoozed some more. Finally it was our turn. Dr. Bruggars, our ever loving oncologist, came in to do a well-check and Dylan was in no mood. He was so tired and "a little bit shy" so he just stared at her as she asked him questions. whatever. Because, he came out of sedation so quickly, and there was an emergency MRI scan after Dylan, his results were not ready. That was fine, except for that it wasn't--this momma's heart almost couldn't handle the wait. We decided to take Dylan downtown to see temple sqaure, and take a trip to 26th floor of the church office building...still just as fun as I remember it was when I was a kid! Dr. Bruggars called about an hour after we left the hospital and let us know that the tumor is stable. It was a quick phone call and very hurried on my end but so very welcomed! I instantly felt myself relax and breathe a little easier. It's not that I was surprised by the results, it's just nerve racking--even after 3 1/2 years! So we move forward, grateful that he is healthy and well. I am so thankful that he is doing so well. I still worry everyday about him. We still do our "shaky hands test." And we pray. We pray everyday that "Dylan's brain tumor will shrink." That will never stop. The boys both pray for that tumor to shrink and that Dylan can be healthy and strong. And he is.

remembering

paul and i were talking about dylan tonight. we were talking about how we sometimes hold samantha in the same funny way we held dylan when he had is port. we could always feel the port when we picked dylan up and we adjusted to it. we picked him up our special little way so we didn't hurt him. tonight, paul was helping sam wash her hands and noticed that he was "being careful" the way he was with dylan. funny how we do that.

so that got us talking about the chemo days. we were laughing about how funny dylan was. he could talk really well for his age, yet he had just learned to walk--he was 18 months old. we always laugh about his cute little voice. i looked up a video we posted on the blog when he was 18 months old. i think i watched it 5 times. every time i watched it, i smiled, teared up, laughed a little, and then clicked play all over. his little personality was just so fun despite all the crap his little body was taking on.

i read through a post that i had written (you can read it here) about the same time the video was posted and was reminded what life is really about. i find that sometimes i forget that my kids are just that, KIDS. they make messes, throw fits, and need love. and it is my job to provide that unconditional love to them, as their mother. here is a little piece from the post...in case you don't want to go back and read the whole thing.

So what am I learning through all this?
That my love for my kids is so intense and deep and true and honest and real and almost unexplainable...is that a word? I would do anything for them. I know, all mothers would do anything for their kids. I think I am just gaining a real testimony of that unexplainable love. Do my kids drive me crazy? of course. Do I get annoyed by the sometimes monotonous task of motherhood? yep. Do I vent my frustrations in front of my kids? almost daily. (I'm working on that one :) But my love for them is real. My heart aches for my boys daily. I pray that the world will be accepting, and gentle with them. I pray for their physical and spiritual strength daily. Their little bodies and sweet spirits make me want to be better and love more.

i am so grateful that i wrote this. i am so grateful i have this to go back and read again, to remind myself what we have gone through but also to remember that i can do hard things. i think as momma's sometimes, we have to remind ourselves of that.

here is the video of dylan

summer so far

{does this post have pictures of my adorable kids? no. is it full of "fun stuff we did this summer?" yes. 
ok so I added a few pics of the kids!}

We have been having so much fun this summer. The boys were both in soccer this year. Connor was on an iddy biddy soccer team. It was 30 minutes of soccer camp and then a 30 minute game. It was so fun watching the kids run like a little huddled up ball to get the ball. The last few weeks of soccer he was not feeling well so he didn't run too much--little did i know he had double ear infections. He ended the season getting his tonsils and adenoids taken out. Good thing we did that surgery before the real summer fun started. He is currently in his last week of iddy biddy baseball. It is basically the same thing as soccer. They practice for a bit and then play a game. We have so much fun watching him swing the bat, hit the ball, and then take off running--while watching his shadow! He is starting to understand the game though, so that is fun. He has two more games this week and then baseball is over. It's getting super hot! We are glad to be finishing up. Connor also did swimming lessons. My neighbor told us about a lady in our neighborhood who does swimming lessons and she is awesome! Connor went from sort of floating to actually moving his arms and learning to swim and move in the water. He is no longer afraid of the water so that makes me so happy!

Dylan was in baseball camp this year. To say he loved it would be an understatement. Every Saturday morning he couldn't wait for his turn to play. He was always so excited to tell his coach something new. His cousin Brayden taught him how to pitch and he gets his whole body--and face-- into it when he pitches the ball. It is so fun to watch him. He is pretty good too. He always tells me he learned how to play baseball from the Wii. Great! {Just hand me that Mother of the Year award right now!} Dylan also did swimming lessons with Connor. I put them in the same class which was so nice for Dylan. He was able to watch Connor do stuff and then he was brave enough to do it too. He is still a little hesitant in the water but at least he will get in wearing a life jacket so I don't have to hold him the whole time. We took the kids swimming last weekend and he wanted to take off the life jacket and practice swimming. It was awesome. I am so proud of him!

Samantha is just turning into my big girl. She LOVES the water. She wants to play in the sprinkler, hose, pool, slip-n-slide....whatever involves water, she is in! She loves to blow bubbles in the water and lay on her back. She loves the boys and wants to do everything they are doing. Some days the boys think she is a bully because she teases them, pokes them, and takes their toys! She reminds me a lot of how Connor was at this age. She has her world and everything is hers and don't make her mad! We just put her in her own room this week. {yes, mother her crib has been in my room for almost 17 months!} She loves playing in her own room, and I am trying to convince her that sleeping in there is awesome too!

Paul is super busy with work. He has been out of the office and "on site" for jobs this summer. He is getting quite the tan...think farmers tan! haha. I am so thankful that he is staying busy and working hard. He loves his job and loves getting out of the office a little bit so things are good. He is staying busy with his church calling in elders quorum and so that adds to the craziness of our lives.

I am training for my first 1/2 marathon. It is July 14th. I have always been able to run but this is my first 1/2 and I am totally excited to do it. I have NEVER ran 13 miles so we will see how it all goes. Other than that, I am just busy with taking care of kids, trying to stay motivated to clean the house, and playing! I also have my church calling in the young women's so that keeps me busy as well.

So there you have it, our summer in a nutshell...or rather a really long entry. oops! The boys will do another set of swimming lessons after the 4th of July. I will have girls camp and then my 1/2 marathon. After that, we hope to get in a few trips to see family and then school starts the middle of August! what? We are so blessed. Our kids are healthy, Paul is working, and the kids are staying busy. What more could we ask for?

Swimming at the townsquare

Sam's hair is long enough for piggy-tails!

 Connor riding Thomas the Train

Dylan, being Dylan!

ps...I don't think I blogged about Dylan's MRI scan. It was clear. He is good. That blasted tumor is stable and he is doing awesome. As we were getting ready to leave the oncology clinic his oncologist {Dr. Bruggers} said, "Did you think three years ago that you would be where you are today?" I was so overcome with emotion and the reality of what a blessing and miracle Dylan is that I just smiled and shook my head. I LOVE Primary Children's and the doctors there!

Brain Tumor Awareness

Did you know that May is the month for Brain Tumor Awareness? Well it is, and since we have a little monkey of our own with an inoperable brain tumor, we have reason to spread the word.
We have come to know lots of kids battling brain tumors. Some we have met and most we have come into contact with through blogs and email. These kids are strong. They have a determination to win. They are beautiful and I swear every single one of them has a bit of fire in their soul.

It was 3 years ago yesterday.
We were up at Primary Children's for an MRI to get a closer look at the "ill defined area of increased density..." Nothing could have prepared me. I think Paul and I knew that something was there . A few weeks prior to the MRI,  Dylan had a CT scan to "check things out," after I told the pediatrician about his tremor in his hand.
It all seems so long ago.
Then I realize that my son is only 3 years old. He will celebrate his 4th birthday this month. What a blessing it is to have him here. Healthy. Funny. And with the same bit of fire in his soul that he has always had.

Dylan's brain tumor is inoperable, meaning he will always have it. It's not going anywhere. It will always be in his brain, and Paul and I will always worry about it. Not a day goes by that I don't have some random thought about that tumor. We pray that "Dylan's brain tumor will shrink" every. single. day. He is well. "He is doing remarkable." according to his oncologist, at his last mri scan/checkup {6 months ago}. May 30th we will return to Primary Children's Hospital. We will head to the Imaging/x-ray to fill out paperwork. The nurse will take us back to our room and we look at the painted tiles on the ceiling. We will name the Disney character's sticking on the cabinet doors. The nurses will come in and give Dylan a poke in his foot--he will be brave and watch Star Wars while Dad holds him and Mom rubs his head. Then we will watch the drips go from the bag into his foot. Pretty cool. After a 30 minute fluid drip Paul will hold him in his arms while the nurses push the "sleepy medicine" into his body. He will be asleep in a few minutes. We will transfer his limp body onto the cot and watch as the nurses gently tuck him in--with his blue blanket. He will wake up a little when they put the oxygen up his nose. Paul and I will reassure him that he is ok with a little rub on his leg. Then, we turn and walk away. We will head to the cafeteria, choke down some breakfast and return to the waiting room where he will most likely be eating a popsicle, sipping apple juice and munching on some oreos. His big blue eyes will blink over and over as he tries to wake up. Paul and I will talk to him and know that the hard part is over. I will have prayed and prayed for him to be ok and then I will feel peaceful and ready to face whatever the doc has to say to us.

It's been three years since his diagnoses. The anxiety has faded but the emotions all come flooding back--even after 3 years. Dylan is strong and spunky and he we are so blessed to have him in our family. We love you Dilly Dawg!