I should be cleaning

but I have a lot on my mind that I need to get out....so here goes.

Its been an interesting week so far. Sunday afternoon Dylan spiked a fever of 101.2. Doesn't sound too bad right? If your child has a healthy immune system you give them a shot of Tylenol, maybe a popsicle and a cool rag on their head, then you wait it out. For Dylan its a trip to the ER....even on a Sunday night.
Walking into the ER I was totally grossed out. All I heard was coughing. Maybe a better way to describe what I heard would be "hacking-up-a-lung-wheezy-snotty-nosed-yuck!" The ER was NOT filled with young sick kids but rather, mask-wearing adults who looked really really sick. They were miserable. I could see it in their eyes that they didn't feel good. I should have felt bad for them. Maybe a little part of me did feel bad for them but to be honest, a big part of me was grossed out. I felt a panic attack coming on. As soon as we checked in I told the nurse we were going to wait outside.
Like, outside the building where there was "fresh air" to breath not "germ-infested air."
A fellow blogger, ok we can call her a friend, Mindy, describes her classroom at school as a germ-free zone. I have a germ-free-radius about my body as well as my for my kids. Inside the ER we could not have a germ-free zone, outside we could. Sort of.
Because Dylan is a "chemo baby" (NOT a cancer baby), we get priority in the ER. We only waited a few minutes and then we were called back. The nurses were gentle with Dylan and very curious about him. They like, no they LOVE his red hair.
I think every nurse we have dealt with rubs his red hair. Good luck? I like to think so.
After a blood draw, urine sample, flu swab, and other routine checks Dylan was given some fluids and some antibiotic. Then we were sent home.
Dylan still had a fever.
A few hours later (9:30 at night), Dylan was sleeping in my bed. I went into lay by him and noticed he was breathing really fast and that he was BURNING UP! I checked his temperature again...102.6! Panic. I called the oncologist on call up at Primary Children's who instructed me to take him back to the hospital to be admitted. Admitted? For how long?
I gathered toys, clothes, diapers, sippys, books, blanket, and his stuffed tiger and we raced out the door. It was about 10:00 pm when we got to the hospital.
Again, we were checked in. The nurse took us to a "special room." I can't remember what she called it but basically the door made a big suction noise whenever it was opened. The air in our room was uncirulated air. A germ-free zone. Thank you nurse. She instructed me to "make myself cozy." Make myself cozy? Really? I was in an ER room with my baby. There were two chairs, a sink, a garbage can, and a cot. A bed? No, a cot. I measured how wide it was so I could explain it to Paul. The cot measured 3 1/2 of my hands wide. Or from pointer finger to elbow and then half my hand. Go ahead measure it out using your arm and hand.
Not very wide.
Anyway, more checking, poking, prodding, and squeezing by the nurses and then we were whisked away to the other hospital in a hospital bus. Yes, a hospital bus. Because Dylan was admitted as a patient I was not permitted to drive my own car to the other hospital, a few miles away. Whatever.
We arrived at about 12:30 am. That is where we stayed the night. Ok, two nights. Dylan was admitted for 48 hours. It was really hard having him in there.
My mom came down Monday morning to be with Connor so Paul and I could be with Dylan. Thank you Momma Finn.
My mom is fabulous. She didn't ask if we needed her to come down. She just sent me text saying that she would be there in the morning by 8:00. She is truly fabulous. She took care of Connor; possibly even spoiled him.
Dylan was released from the hospital yesterday afternoon. It is so good to have him home. After all the testing it was determined that he had Adenovirus. Basically a type of flu. The doctor explained that symptoms are flu-like but usually not as bad. Paul and I may get the bug but it probably won't affect us like it did Dylan, given his weak immune system.
So there you have it. Its been quite the week so far, and it's only Wednesday.

So what am I learning through all this?
That my love for my kids is so intense and deep and true and honest and real and almost unexplainable...is that a word? I would do anything for them. I know, all mothers would do anything for their kids. I think I am just gaining a real testimony of that unexplainable love. Do my kids drive me crazy? of course. Do I get annoyed by the sometimes monotnous task of motherhood? yep. Do I vent my frustrations in front of my kids? almost daily. (I'm working on that one :) But my love for them is real. My heart aches for my boys daily. I pray that the world will be accepting, and gentle with them. I pray for their physical and spritual strength daily. Their little bodies and sweet spirits make me want to be better and love more.

This week we are staying home. (If you have the flu...stay home!) We won't be going to Wal-mart to wander around. No trips to the popcorn store, aka Target, to look at the toys. That great sale at Albertsons will have to wait until next week. This week I will gladly take on the task of playing with my boys.