I'm not gonna lie...
I wish {sometimes} I had a nanny
But I truly enjoy cleaning and organizing my home.
I would love to own an expensive fancy camera
Even though I take a crappy picture.
I hate talking to nurses over the phone about my kids
But I have to feel "in charge" and so I make all the calls.
I think about how fun it would be to live close to family
But I am so happy to live a "healthy" distance away from them :)
I dream of having a big, nice, brand new car
But when I think about the payment that would go with it
I want to vomit. Really. Vomit.
I can't wait for chemotherapy to be over
But I have developed a love/hate relationship with it.
And so I am scared to be done with it.
I am excited for Connor to start preschool this fall.
I'm just not sure I'm ready for him to be "big".
I hate buying diapers
{you would too, if you had been buying them every month for three years straight}
But I think about having another baby.
I find myself wondering if I should get a part time job
But the very thought of working makes me miss my babies.
I dream of the day when we can buy new couches
But I love the couches we have
{even with all the stains, smears, and smudges from two little boys}
And I wish Paul could stay home everyday and play with us
But man oh man, I am thankful for his job
{a job that keeps him very busy}
But I truly enjoy cleaning and organizing my home.
I would love to own an expensive fancy camera
Even though I take a crappy picture.
I hate talking to nurses over the phone about my kids
But I have to feel "in charge" and so I make all the calls.
I think about how fun it would be to live close to family
But I am so happy to live a "healthy" distance away from them :)
I dream of having a big, nice, brand new car
But when I think about the payment that would go with it
I want to vomit. Really. Vomit.
I can't wait for chemotherapy to be over
But I have developed a love/hate relationship with it.
And so I am scared to be done with it.
I am excited for Connor to start preschool this fall.
I'm just not sure I'm ready for him to be "big".
I hate buying diapers
{you would too, if you had been buying them every month for three years straight}
But I think about having another baby.
I find myself wondering if I should get a part time job
But the very thought of working makes me miss my babies.
I dream of the day when we can buy new couches
But I love the couches we have
{even with all the stains, smears, and smudges from two little boys}
And I wish Paul could stay home everyday and play with us
But man oh man, I am thankful for his job
{a job that keeps him very busy}
4 comments:
Love it. Love your post.
I love how you know exactly how to put the things in my head in to words! You say it so perfectly!
So Tara about the diaper thing. I have to tell you 3 years is nothing compared to me lol. We have been buying diapers all but 13 months out of the past 7 years thats right I said 7 years. The first 9 months and then about 4 months before Cydney was born. Arent they great!. I love your posts by the way.
I don't know how, but apparently I missed your last, like, 93848 posts. Or just like 4. But still...
I LOVED this post. So honest and from your heart. I love all your posts, actually, but especially this one. Once again, I can't imagine what you must be going through. I am so sorry for all the crap you and your family have to go through. But I am glad Dylan is doing so well! And I'm glad you are finally seeing a light at the end of the tunnel! Hang in there!
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